Before I do - I want to acknowledge how hard this is on the other kids (and myself), we are seeing trauma like we have never experienced it before. All of us will be seeing a psychologist several times between now and christmas - as we all need to gain understanding and strategies to deal with what is going on. Most of all Miss 14, who is the sister of Miss 9 - and currently feels like she can't love her because her behaviours are so extreme. Psych team believes we can overcome this - we just need to educate her a little. She remembers much less of the abuse than Miss 9, and did have pretty bad behaviours at the start too. The difference is she has had stability since being in foster care. She hasn't lived in 7 homes adding to the rejection and feeling that makes one feel impossible to love.
Most of the information I am copying comes from Wikipedia. Only because it explains it in the most user friendly way. I have cross checked with more academic websites and conversations with psychologists and social workers. I have added strikethroughs to behaviours we haven't seen.
Emotional Dysregulation Disorder.
Emotional dysregulation (ED) is a term used in the mental health community to refer to an emotional response that is poorly modulated, and does not fall within the conventionally accepted range of emotive response. ED may be referred to as labile mood (marked fluctuation of mood)[1] or mood swings.
Possible manifestations of emotional dysregulation include angry outbursts or behavior outbursts such as destroying or throwing objects, aggression towards self or others, and threats to kill oneself. These variations usually occur in seconds to minutes or hours. Emotional dysregulation can lead to behavioral problems and can interfere with a person's social interactions and relationships at home, in school, or at place of employment.
Emotional dysregulation can be associated with an experience of early psychological trauma, brain injury, or chronic maltreatment (such as child abuse, child neglect, or institutional neglect/abuse), and associated disorders such as reactive attachment disorder.[2] Emotional dysregulation may present in people with psychiatric disorders such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder.[3][4] ED is also found among those with autism spectrum disorders, including Asperger syndrome.[3] In such cases as borderline personality disorder, hypersensitivity to emotional stimuli causes a slower return to a normal emotional state. This is manifested biologically by deficits in the frontal cortices of the brain.[5]
Emotional dysregulation in children can be associated with internalizing behaviors including[10]
- exhibiting emotions too intense for a situation
- difficulty calming down when upset
- difficulty decreasing negative emotions
- being less able to calm themselves
- difficulty understanding emotional experiences
- becoming avoidant or aggressive when dealing with negative emotions
- experiencing more negative emotions
Externalizing behaviors[edit]
Emotional dysregulation in children can be associated with externalizing behaviors including[10]
- exhibiting more extreme emotions
- difficulty identifying emotional cues
- difficulty recognizing their own emotions
- focusing on the negative
- difficulty controlling their attention
- being impulsive
- difficulty decreasing their negative emotions
- difficulty calming down when upset
As you can see from the above behaviours we are in quite a state of chaos. It would be easier on all of us to say enough is enough. But Miss 9 really can't face anymore rejection. She needs someone with the skills and patience to see her through. To take her back to the experiences she should have experienced in infancy and early childhood in order to learn how to behave and self regulate.
We are not committing to permanency. And I will not allow this to be forced upon us. But we are committed to ensuring that this child gets the help she needs in order to make sure her next home is her final home!
