So much to say yet so few words.

It's been a pretty awesome couple of months. Miss 8 is a treasure and Miss 13 seems to be feeling fairly secure in her permanency here. 

Miss 13 has asked several times if 'we' can continue to foster kids once she is out of the system. The royal we, made me quite excited. Definitely hitting the typical teens though. Attitude at 110%, arguing everything and working really hard on negotiation skills. School reports are all good though. Told her today that I wasn't happy with her attitude lately, she responded with 'so what are you going to do about it?' Giving me that look of 'will you give me back'. 'Nothing' I said. There is nothing I can do about it. It's up to you to think about how you affect other people. 

Miss 8 has her home for life. A family she knows and loves. I'm not so happy about her brother being with her but when it comes down to it... It's more important to me that they both have the security of permanency with people they know and adore. 

Master 7 said tonight at bedtime. When Miss 13 (coming to us, start of August) moves in will you still have room for me. Yes dear boy. There will always be room for you. 'I love the couch that folds out to a bed' so I did what all good mums do. 'The couch is yours. Whenever you need it, you can come back and sleep on it.  Just don't bring any girls back with you there are enough girl problems around here.' 'I'd say' he said. 

The best interests of the child

It's hard to reconcile social worker expectations with what you believe is best for the child.  Who is to decide what is best for the child?  The social worker who has seen them on and off for about a year, or the person who has had them stay weekends on and off for a year, then full time for about a month.

One would like to think the one that has been immersed in 'life' with the child, but social workers often 'know best'.  Do they know best? Or do they just want the quickest easiest solution.

We agreed to take Miss 8, she was to be enrolled in correspondence school for her time with us.  A month later and we still havent heard back from the correspondence school, so through goodwill I have taken responsibility for making sure there is work available for Miss 8, to make sure her education doesn't suffer.  Effectively, she is "truant" from school at the moment, but i am doing what I can to make sure she gets that education regardless.

A social worker believes it is in Miss 8s best interests to sit on a bus for three hours to attend a one hour appointment. I don't believe it is in her best interests, and that school work needs to be a priority, especially for one performing below her curriculum expectations.  I have put my foot down, I have told the social workers what I think - no bars held.  I am the one trained to deal with educational needs, not you - if you want her to take a day out of education, then you process that correspondence school application and get permission from the teacher with oversight of her education - not me!

Also - why the hell are you considering placing Miss 8 with her brother again when we know from experience that IT DOESN'T WORK.  Giving them different caregivers isn't going to change the outcome for these young ones.  Really...you want to see another placement breakdown in 12 months? Like last time you placed Miss 8 with her brother.  GRRRRR

Miss 13 and I have a new TV show. It's about a foster family. Really loving the theme song.

"Where You Belong"

If you're feeling down or weak

You can always count on me

I will always pick you up

Nothing's ever gonna change

Nothing's gettin' in my way 

I will always hold you up 

Anything 

Come what may

Don't look back forget yesterday

Forget yesterday 

[Chorus:]

It's not where you come from

It's where you belong

Nothin' I would trade

I wouldn't have it any other way 

You're surrounded

By love and you're wanted

So never feel alone

You are home with me

Right where you belong

I know sometimes you're feeling lost

It's hard to find your place in it all

But you don't have to fear

Even when you mess up

You always got my love

I'm always right here 

Oh, cause 

Anything

Come what may

Don't look back forget yesterday 

Forget yesterday (ay)

[Chorus]

Oooo Oooo (Oooo) [x2]

Don't matter where you've been

Oooo Oooo (Oooo) [x2]

You're here for a reason

Oooo Oooo (Oooo) 

Nooo

[Chorus]

A fairy party

Miss 7 turned miss 8 over the weekend. She had her first ever birthday! 

The morning started 'when it is daylight you can get up' with bundles of joy and it continued right through til bedtime. She obviously hasn't heard the song 'it's my party and I will cry if I want to'

She had many of the most important people in her life with her. 2 sets of her previous caregivers present, all 4 she adores. 3 of her siblings, three of her teachers, and a number of other people. 

You know a girl is pretty special when her teachers turn up to her party! 

She kept saying it was the best birthday ever, and there was no need to ask why. She got presents, and loads of them. She got hugs and loads of them. But most importantly, she got memories. 

A lesson in geography

I took miss 13 and miss 7 on a road trip. It was a decent 6 hours each way. Miss 13 normally falls asleep before we are at the end of our street. But this time she didn't. Something was different. 

Miss 13 heard me say 'do you want me to wake you up to see the volcanoes if it's still daylight' 

We will see volcanoes??? The excitement was amazing. Not only that I said but we are going to basically be on a volcanic area. You will see steam hiss from the ground, mud bubbling as you walk on by and lakes that are hotter than a boiling kettle. You will even swim in a river that has hot water flow down it. 

The questions began. The questions did not end until we were home three days later. She even spent her spending money to go to a volcano learning centre. 

We may just have a volcanologist in the waiting. I won't suggest it though. If I do it will never happen! She has to think of it her self!  

For a moment I thought you were xxx

Today there were tears. Miss 7 said 'nah' I made it clear that wasn't acceptable. She sobbed. 

She could explain to me what she did, why it wasn't okay and what she could do instead. So why the tears I asked her. 

'For a moment I thought you were xxx, I forgot that I am okay and you won't hurt me' she sobbed even more. You are safe and it's okay I reassure her. You will get told off sometimes, but you won't get hit.  

She cried 'it's my 5th foster home, it's too hard, everyone has different rules.  I want to go home' 

Where is home for you I asked her.  I don't know she told me. Home is where I will stay and I won't have to keep doing things differently. Home isn't with xxx because that isn't safe. But that means I haven't been home in a long time. 

Insightful for Miss 7. I hope she makes it home soon. It's so unfair for one so young to go through so much change.