Friendships

Things are plodding along well. Me 12 has matured a lot and become quite pleasant to have around. He has started being more helpful, and polite. 

Miss 9 has developed a bit of an attitude in place of mr12, and does seem to be struggling with the changes life has thrown at her. Despite settling so quickly at the start, it is clear they have switched roles. Mr 12 seems genuinely happy, Miss 9 I think is in a vulnerable place, and it's hard to stay patient. Her hearing is not good... We are still waiting on her health check. So she speaks loudly, she misses instructions and she argues unnecessarily with the other children as she often interrupts them. When others don't respond straight away, she thinks they aren't listening so begins to nag. 

I know it must be extremely hard on her, but I am finding it draining. I know she deserves more patience than I am giving her...it's not her fault. But I am struggling with always having to answer 'huh?'

Now Miss 14 is doing well. Her relationship with Mr 32 has become quite strong and as a result she is quite happy and playful. Quite childlike.   However she has had to make a hard decision. One that has resulted in cutting off her best friend. Her friend pulled a Pra k on her that upset her quite a lot (faked a teen pregnancy). Miss 14 was willing to put everything on the line to support her friend and had asked me to come home early before finding out it was a joke. She didn't talk to her friend for a few days while she recovered from it. We talked about what had been said, but Miss 14 couldn't remember the exact words and I began to read their text messages (she knew I was doing this... She knows as part of having a phone anything she says is not private). Here I found messages that were not symptomatic of a good relationship... Not in either direction. The other miss had been involving herself in unsafe behaviours, and our Miss 14 had been saying things that were boar seeing on emotional blackmail. I called her out on these things, and she agreed. Things had gone too far. 

I have her advice on how to put things right, but she decided it was best to let go of the friendship. I am proud of her for that decision. She told her friend and blocked her number. For about two weeks we heard nothing. Then she called in the landline. Miss 14 told her friend that she was making choices in her life that were leading her down the wrong paths, that she can't support that. She ended the conversation. 

I am proud of her, and she is proud of herself. She grieves the friendship, and worries for her friends wellbeing. But this young lady has made a decision that is about her own wellbeing, and this is big... She has cut ties to one of the last remaining link to her past life, she is making friends with people she wants in her future, not the people she feels she needs to cling to because of her past.