Little miss and littler miss

Little miss has her little sister staying this weekend. And if all goes well it will become a more regular occurance. Littler miss has been very hard work for her caregivers, and with several of their own children some time out was desperately needed. We were asked by the social worker if we would be in a position to give regular respite. 

With a little hesitation and lots of discussion we said we would give it a go. It is a fabulous opportunity for both of the girls to stay connected with their family in a safe and supervised way. 

Supervised became the key word quite quickly. As of course there was a very clear reason they are in care in the first place. A lack of parenting skills also leads to a lot of undesirable habits handed into the kids. 

Not least of which is the bullying. We knew little miss had a tendency to be not so nice toward others. We knew littler miss had been displaying some quite aggressive behaviours toward others. But the two of them together has resulted in a lot of needless - and at times potentially harmful, bullying. Usually about apparence. 

That as kids though there is clear love between the girls. Little miss won't let littler miss out of sight. Seeig it as her duty to protect and guide her. 

In someways this is good. It is helping her understand the 'rules' of life a little better; helping her see that rules exist for a reason. Helping her see that getting told off isn't the worst thing ever and just a necessity when all else fails. 

But sadly, the pressure she puts on herself is overwhelming. A child of 12 doing the job of an adult. It stresses her, it upsets her and she can verbally lash out when littler miss doesn't do as she is asked. She has automatically reverted into the relationship she was expected to have when they lived together. Littler Miss doesn't like it much either. A few times telling little miss to leave her alone them coming to either myself or my partner for what she needed. Showing that really, she wants adults in her life giving some control to her life. 

Little miss doesn't like being told what to do. So hasn't dealt with that so well. But as the day has gone on. She had been learning. 

With guidance she is letting go of some responsibilities. Letting her out of her sight. She still gave her her shower and helped her dress. But let me read the goodnight story, only poking her head around the corner twice in the ten minutes it took me to read Dr Suess' Bedtime Story. 

Tomorrow will be interesting. How will the girls cope when they are seperated again. Will they cope with regular visits and seperations. Will we get the opportunity to help these two form sister love over a longer period of time. To reinforce the lessons they have just began to learn. I hope so. Littler miss is adorable.