She's come along way.

Miss 12 will have been with us 7 months tomorrow.  It seems as well that as we approach that 7 month mark we have a new child.  A child who is quite different to how she was when she arrived on our doorstep with only a school bag and a lunchbox.

That mad dash to the shop to buy undies for the next day.  Trying to convince her that it was okay to have something to eat.  Responding to the statement "Just be warned, I don't know how to be good".   It makes me a little emotional to think about how broken and lost she was only 7 months ago.

Things have changed considerably recently.  She has become okay with the reality that she will never return to her family. That her hopes that had been built up by the social welfare agency would be broken down again.  A change in social worker that helped her see the reality for what it was (She didn't like the social worker to start with but is getting to understand now that truth is better than false lies and hope).  She has accepted that staying with us until she is 17 (in her eyes she will leave on her 17th birthday and return to her family) is her future.  She is good with that too!  I had a bad day at work yesterday - some boy being an egg!  Her response - "you should let me deal with him - no one is gonna treat you like that"  I let the treat of violence drop - she was being protective of me.  We'll deal with that violence issue again another day!

We took her on a two week road trip holiday with a friend of hers.  She really figured how close she was to us in this time.  She had no shame about holding my hand as she walked somewhere, taking our side if her friend was naughty.  Over heard once to say "Don't you talk about them like that, they're my family".  She'd never admit it to our face.

She has said "love you guys" once as she was falling asleep.  And to me several times since.  It's far too soon to expect her to identify any love for my other half - he is a man! That's wrong! Her words. We know her history though - that's not going to happen for some time.

She officially proposed to me.  Spending her pocket money on a bunch of flowers, she downed on one knee and said "Will you be my legal guardian".

She is still very attached to her family, but mostly in words.  She doesn't really follow through with the actions.  She loves them dearly, and holds such a commitment to them that she would never betray them.  She tells us very clearly, quite often, that we aren't her family, we can't be, and she will go to her family when she turns 17.

Her most recent access visit with her family ended well.  There wasn't the normal sulking and tantrum throwing, negative self talk and violence threats.  She just came home and got on with things.  Fingers crossed this is going to last. If it does, she may even be allowed to have sleep overs and her mums.

Her little sister is coming to stay this weekend.  Hopefully that goes well.  It's to provide a bit of respite to her caregivers, however - both of the kids think it's just to give them a chance to see each other. If it goes successfully we will take her one weekend a month.  Will get back to you on that one!