Didn't take long

When I started this I thought - oh, we are usually a couple of weeks between tantrums...I reckon we have another week before I will make a post.

This morning miss 12 asked for her permission slip for her school trip.  I gave it to her.  Circled - yes we can help with supervision on the day.  Well...that was a disaster waiting to happen.  "I told you I don't want you to help"  (We also get the sulk every single time her teacher speaks with us - good or bad...we are embarrassing).

We tried explaining how school trips can't happen if there aren't adults to help supervise.  Didn't work.  Cue: Face of Thunder.  My other half told her to take a look in the mirror.  She said "nah".  He said "that's because you know the face is a childish face, two year olds throw tantrums".  She argued a little more before he raised his voice - for the first time ever.  "You can't throw a tantrum every time you don't get your own way, you are twelve, it's time to start acting it".

Tears. Overflowing, sobbing.  The whole 30minute drive to school.  No good bye.  Nothing.

First time in 4 months we've had to tell her off.  Getting a bit sick of the tantrums to get her own way.  Unfortunately at the start we hadn't googled "let them die by being ignored" and gave them a little too much attention.  Moved to ignoring...and on the most part it works.  But god, it gets exhuasting.  I can understand how he got angry - was probably about time.   At least it was still about her...can't let her know it effects us either...

Everything I've read says the tantrums are to punish us... that if we show it is affecting us - she will feel she has won.

We have pretty good leverage over her at the moment. An upcoming holiday she doesn't want to miss out on.  She knows we haven't booked flights, and aren't going to until a couple of days before...so she'll probably apologise.  If not - we may have to follow through...  Three tantrums...no holiday.  This is number two.  I really don't want to get to three - because then what do we use... we won't let you stay home in the holidays? I suppose we could arrange tutoring!

Will get back to you on that one!