People say Why? Why would you?

Why would we? Why would we act as short term parents, to kids that have obviously been through some traumatic experience in their lives? (even being moved in with us is a traumatic experience).

There aren't enough homes out there for the kids that have been abused by their parents.  Not just phsycially...emotionally.  Neglected.  How do we know?  We've seen kids returned to their families with no change in circumstance - and been told "we didn't have anywhere else for them to go".

We both love kids...we aren't ready for our own yet.  Not ready for the time off work, the sleepless nights.  But we are both skilled, working, professionals...who know what kids need.  We came into it by accident.  By helping out parents who needed a break for the weekend.

I know people say that teenagers are the most challenging age group - but are they really any more challenging than another age group - at least we have learnt what comes with a teenager!  Moods, arguments, sulks, lies, the list could go on!

So is it easier parenting someone elses child than your own?  Nope.  Well, not that we'd really know...there probably are aspects that are easier - like you know you can give them back if you can't work it out!  But on a whole it's harder - there is no unconditional love.  You need to work at loving them.  They may not forgive you for upsetting them.

These kids need to like you...they need to have some where stable to live.  Thought about what might happen to a teenager who didn't want to be somewhere? They'd leave!  Plain and simple!  It would be easy to say - well, we are just babysitting them until they go home to mum and dad.  Sadly, these kids usually come with no sense of self esteem (or too much of it!), no discipline, no routines, no manners!  So in amongst trying to make sure they like you - you need to teach them these things so that they can function in your household!  That's easy for the first 4 weeks...they are so scared they do anything they are told.  Give it four weeks though - and as far as they are concerned...you ain't dad - you can't tell me what to do!

So how do you juggle being likeable, being fair, being in charge and getting things done.  Well...I don't know.  That's why I'm blogging.  Sometimes it's easy.  Sometimes it's run to every parent I know of their own teenager and say "how would you..."  sometimes it's feeling like giving up. Sometimes it's googling the same thing 100 times hoping for a different result.  Sometimes, seeing success - makes you do it all again next time.