Grief

 

Grief has many stereotypical definitions. No one has the same internal definition though. 

Today I grieve for the child entering our home. Grief is associated with loss though, not gain. But somehow it fits. 

Because in the gain of a child to our home there are so many different realms of loss. Not only for the child, but those around the child. 

The loss first of all of innocence. When as a toddler experiencing abuse of all sorts. 

The loss of permanency. When taken from the people who love you so much they hurt you. 

The loss of their definition of love. 

The loss of being 'the same' as everyone else and being in the care of other family. 

The loss of thinking they have their new home forever then experiencing abuse so unimaginable they lose their childhood

The loss of predictability in routine as you move between homes while your new forever home is found. 

The loss of hope of being reunited with your family once your forever home is found. 

The loss of your forever home because your issues are so big you can't really be looked after by those without intricate knowledge of how to manage your grief. 

Then the loss of care. Because, certainly, there has to be a point you get to where you don't even believe or dream of staying put and believing those who say they love you. Ever. Again. 

Its too much to wish you happiness in our home Miss '8 in two weeks'. I wish with all my heart that I can help you find some hope. I can't take away your past. But I hope I can shape your future.