When the fire burns...

I get this little fire of passion in my heart every time.

Every time a new kid comes along that I can make a difference for.  Every time I have the opportunity to "throw back one more starfish".

Over time, as I see a child settle, their need for me to help them decreases, the fire fades.  I still care unreservedly about the children, but they don't need me to be as much for them as I once was.  Miss 13 is still a very important part of my life.  She still needs me.  But I had stopped learning.  I knew how to handle her. I know her needs vs her wants. I have become her parent, not her foster parent.  I know how to get her excited, and how to make her frustrated.  I can look back over the last year with her and I see the changes she has made, the distance she has travelled.

Over the last few months I've felt myself becoming tired, lacking enthusiasm, lacking motivation really.  Another young Miss 7 comes into our lives...she isn't even with us yet...and the fire is re-lit.

Already there is a fire burning, a passion, some motivation and I'm a little less tired.  There is something about helping out one more child that fires me up every single time.

But it's not really like a fire...as the fire for a child never leaves...Maybe it's more like a belt notch.  Add one more child to my belt... the bigger the belt gets, the more love can fit inside it.

Oh that probably all makes no sense at all...but it makes sense to me.  I know what makes me tick. I just wish I could win lotto so I could just have a house full of kids and not work!