Our Surprise. Or...shock... or What the actual hell just happened?

We didn’t believe what was happening.

After a day of chocolate on Sunday, when Miss 15 complained of a sore tummy around 10am on Easter Monday.  I told her she had eaten too much junk.  When she told me she had been in pain since 3, I started to suspect a bug.  When she asked me to take her to the doctor, I hesitated.  At near $300 for a non citizen, public holiday, visit – I was going to hold it off as long as possible.  I called a friend, a bit more in the know than myself.  Panadol? Has she had any Panadol.  No.  So she took some Panadol, and I told her if she wasn’t right in a few hours we’d find a doctor.

Miss 15 persisted. I need to see a doctor, I am in a lot of pain.  Okay. I figured if it was bad enough she wanted to pay nearly $300.  It was bad enough to see a doctor.  We went to our local after hours, and were told after seeing the triage nurse that there was a three hour wait – but in the meantime could she do a urine test. On returning from doing the test she told me that there was blood in her urine. What does that mean? Only moments after returning the test, the nurses asked for her to come through immediately.  My previous thoughts of appendicitis changed to a bladder infection.  The weight was off my shoulders.  A bladder infection is much more manageable.

After a good half an hour the doctor called me through.  Permission had been given from Miss 15 to discuss the details with me, due to her lack of understanding.  “Is there any chance she could be pregnant?” Asked the doctor.  I replied “No.  She isn’t that sort of girl.  If she says there is no chance, there is no chance”.  “In that case” he said “We need to make an immediate referral to oncology.  Are you able to drive her to the Emergency Department.” “Umm. Yup” I say, but thinking ‘what the hell, cancer, you must be joking, she is 15’. 

We arrived at the ED half an hour later, stopping for McDonalds on the way.  If you’re about to get admitted into hospital for cancer treatment – you might as well get a treat before you arrive!  Thankfully, we stopped for some food.  As it was another 3 or 4 hours until we were seen by the doctor again there was plenty of time to google.  I had read the referral forms which stated “positive pregnancy test, no pregnancy, abdominal swelling, refer oncology”.

The more I read online, the more I started to wonder.  The only other way I could find to have a positive pregnancy test was cancer.  The form of cancer that could cause a positive pregnancy test was incredibly rare.  She either has a rare cancer or a baby.  I sat there juggling in my mind which one would be easier to manage.  Miss 15’s current status meant that having a baby would be incredibly dangerous for both her and a baby. I don’t mean the birth either.  Cancer can be cured. 

As the hours ticked on, and the pains became more intense and more frequent there was a little bit of wonder creeping into my mind about that the chances of pregnancy. So that conversation was had again – in more detail.  No.  There has definitely been nothing happen that could cause that.  We were later to find out, “nothing that I remember” to cause that.

We were finally called in by an ED doctor, who said they were going to do a quick ultrasound before making any further decisions about the rest of the night.  A few moments into the ultrasound, the doctor looked at me and said “I’ll be back in a moment” she returned with another doctor.  A specialist.  They did the ultrasound together, the second doctor left and the first said “There is a baby in there, we don’t know what stage of the pregnancy this is, you could be experiencing Braxton hicks.  But we need to send you to the delivery suite regardless, you need a full examination.”

I was in shock. Miss 15 was in shock.  My mind was racing, what do we need, where do we get it from, how do we keep them safe.  I’m sure her mind was racing too, probably in a different way to mine.  I text a friend and asked her to meet us in the delivery suite.  I made some quick calls to make sure the other children were sorted for the night (they were already at friend’s houses so was not too hard).  I quickly sought support from my support people. 

We had a lovely midwife, Katie, who was incredibly reassuring when she told us “There will be a baby here, and tonight”.  She talked us through what would happen – seeing as none of us (my friend was there by that stage) have ever had a baby.  She then began to ask questions about the conception.  Concerns then flung into overdrive.  Something had happened.  We now had massive concerns for the care and protection of both Miss 15 and her baby. 

Baby was monitored intently, and as Miss 15 became more and more anxious we became thankful that the birth was going to be over with fairly soon.  At 10.50pm we welcomed a baby girl into our little world.  She weighed just over 6 pounds.  The NICU team on standby were stood down and we were told she was healthy.  No sigh of relief was heard, this was only the start of an uphill battle.  But for one day, we had been through enough.  The day was over, we had another girl to love.  No sleep was had (by me anyway…the new mum slept extremely well) as I arranged bassinets, carseats, clothes.  So much to plan when a baby suddenly arrives.  

It has been all guns firing.

It has been an incredibly long time since I updated here! A few months, but there is good reason!

That's because I have been so incredibly busy with everything, that I haven't had time!  This morning, I make time.  I had to get up early and make sure things were spick and span for a landlord visit - which means that I am just a little too tired to get started on work!

Mr 13 and Miss 9 are still here.  Only for another two weeks though...well, a little less now.  They will be moving on the 8th of July to their new home.  It could well be their forever home, however - their mum still has some opportunity to make things right.  Experience tells me this won't happen - but we still have to give them a chance - because the kids deserve that.  Nevertheless, the home they are going to they want to go to.  Such a rare move for kids in care.  They have pretty much picked their next placement - and the caregivers to be have applied, trained and been accepted as caregivers.
So a quick update on those two - since they won't be with me much longer.
Miss 9 is struggling with some basics - hoarding, lying and aggravating others.  However, these behaviors are not extreme nor are they affecting her day to day life, or that of others.  They are just typical "I've been through crap" behaviors, that seek attention and love from others.  She continues to do well at school, and has a good little group of friends.  She seems to have trouble sustaining friendships, but having moved schools so often - it's probably the longest she has had to sustain a friendship.

Mr 13 loves school. Unfortunately, a little too much.  He has become a bit of a class clown, and the teachers all note that he is a little too social, and a little too unfocused.  I believe he will get this under control - he has big goals for his life, and I do doubt he'll be the typical 13 year old boy for long.  He continues to deceive with technology - and I am constantly discovering new ways he has been accessing the internet.  On the other hand, his  behavior at home has improved tenfold.  He does little to annoy his sister, helps out often and uses his manners all of the time.  He is like a different kid!  Now just to get those boundaries sorted at school as well!

Moving on to Miss 14 - Permanent lass.  She has been doing extremely well at school, but pushing the boundaries at home.  Pretty much exactly the types of behaviors we were told she would display once things were permanent.  Arguing, manipulating, trying to use her past to get her own way.  She is learning to think before she speaks, but hasn't really mastered the skill yet.  She has had a few set backs lately - the consistency in her life has been disrupted.  As you'll see when I discuss Miss 15! She has never coped well with change, so it's no surprise that she isn't coping well now. Not to mention that she is not the centre of attention - which is her number one goal in life! On a whole she is blimming hard work.  But just gotta hang in there and hope she pops out the other side soon!

Miss 15 - well that's where the story really begins.  Over Easter weekend, she got a very sore tummy.  Too much chocolate perhaps?  So after her saying that it was really bad and she needed to see a doctor - I took her to after hours.  While we were there other symptoms appeared.  We were re-directed to the emergency room.  After a number of tests....we discovered she was in labour.  Yup. A baby.  This was no "too much chocolate" or bladder infection.  This was a real, live, human baby - only a couple of hours from entering our lives! I will make a separate post at some stage about how the events of that day unfolded.  However, what is crucial here is the lack of support she received from those legally responsible for her.  Within hours I was told I wasn't to be around anymore, that they would "deal with the situation from here". A part of the dealing with the situation was to return her to her family.  Her family are not a danger - but those in her immediate environment are.  There are NO doubts at all that the conception was not consensual.  And there are no doubts at all that the baby will be killed should she be returned to her home land.  Thankfully, we were able to get lawyers involved before the situation became dire, and they were able to keep the girls in my care.  From here we have made an application to have her accepted as a refugee - in order to keep her safe.  We are yet to hear if that is successful, but we will keep at it - no matter what we have to do.

Miss 15 had a slow start to becoming a mother, but is slowly getting the hang of things. She has formed a good bond with the baby - and the two of them are doing extremely well considering.  Don't get me wrong - there is still a lot of work to do.  But things have started well. Miss 13 weeks has met all of her milestones (or surpassed them) and babbles away quite deliciously.

Once Miss 9 and Mr 13 have moved on in two weeks, I'll either get more time to blog - or I won't have much to blog about.   From there I will be putting a hold on our availability for foster care.  To enable Miss 14 to settle into her changes, and to help Miss 15 become the mum she needs to be.  To focus on the refugee application, and to ensure Miss baby gets all the nuturing and love she needs at this crucial stage of her development.  At this stage the hold is for one school term, then things will be reevaluated. We'll see where other things are at!