The lesson of love

As anticipated, telling Miss 13 about the passing of her wee friend was hard.  It wasn't as hard as I expected though.  Miss 13 had a very mature response to the whole situation. I hadn't really thought about the number of times she had been through a similar situation in her own short life already.

To me, it's not normal for a baby to lose life before he or she has really lived.  To Miss 13, this isn't the first, second or even third time.  Losing a baby has sadly been commonplace in her family.

Did she still show emotion. Yes.  Did she still ask for details about how the baby died. Yes. Could I give her those answers. No.  Did she get a bit angry that I couldn't give her those answers. Yes.  But did she take a really mature response through the situation, express sympathy for the baby's mumma - damn right she did.

And that is how this little girl has changed Miss 13s life.  Miss 13, would not have 12 months ago considered the impacts of such a devastating event on the lives of others.  Now, it's her number one concern.  She really wanted to attend the funeral of the baby - not for her own acknowledgement, but just to check the baby's mumma was doing okay.  As hard as it was, I had to say no. I had many reasons for doing so, but not the least of which is - she herself is a child, yes she needs to know that death happens.  But she doesn't need to be surrounded in grief when that is what most of her life has contained.

Thankfully she took the no in good stride, instead making a beautiful well thought out card to the mummy.  She took it down to the post shop and posted it herself.  Just reading the words in it made me cry - but made me cry with pride for Miss 13 as well as saddness for the loss of such a precious wee life.

This little girl changed Miss 13s life.  And mine.  I don't think she will ever be far from either of our hearts.  Thank you to her mumma for sharing her life with us.  You'll never know the difference it made to us.