Success!
I haven't heard "I'm hungry" since about 7.30 this morning. And that was definitely out of boredom (in the car on the way to school...is about 35 minutes) so this afternoon I went to the library and got some audio books - and hopefully that'll fix the mornings.
There was a slight problem at the end of the day - I went to pick Mr 7 up from the social workers office...and he wasn't there - no one had remembered to pick him up from school. Thankfully, the school and figured out something funny was going on - popped him in the after school programme and were working out what to do next when I turned up and the social workers called the school. His siblings were in the after school programme anyway - so he didn't notice he was forgotten, just thought he was spending some time there. I have now arranged for him to go to the after school programme every day after school as it turns out he was still booked in from when he was in the care of his family, just hadn't been for a couple of months.
They also do before school care from 7am as well...so if I can get the funding to put him in there it would make a lot more sense than me taking him to work, him getting picked up by the social worker and dropped at school. It would add 20 minutes or so to each my morning and afternoon, but it would feel a lot more normal for him I think. I was able to get a few things confirmed too...as the staff for the after school programme also work in the classrooms during the day. I found out what grade Mr7is in, got taken to meet his teacher and exchange contact details, and also find out that he trashed his classroom this morning! It wasn't under my watch - phew! I know this is something we will have to begin to manage soon, but in the mean time it is the responsibility of the social workers. Not normally a stance I'd take. But it is important for us to get home settled first.
Tonight after dinner we talked through what to do if he starts to feel angry. He chose that his way of getting through that would be to go to his room, and read a book. We will time 7 minutes from when he starts looking at the pages and then come and talk to him. He came up with all the ideas himself, I just asked questions. What will you do when you get angry to calm down? Read. Where will you do that? My bedroom. How long will you read for? 7 minutes. How will we know if it hasn't been long enough? Start timing once I start reading.
As a part of that we started a system with two jars. Each jar has 10 stones in it (prettish ones - from majong!) every time he completes his jobs (twice a day) he will get to move a stone from :( to :) If he doesn't do his jobs or argues about doing them he will move one from :) to :(. If he does something naughty he will move one from :) to :(, and if he does something extra special he can move one from :( to :). Confused yet? It's not so confusing when you have the items in front of you!
His jobs are: Morning - Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair.
Night - Put lunchbox on bench, set table, put toys away, take rubbish downstairs, have a bath at 7pm.
He was really happy with his jobs. I wish they were my jobs.
If on a Saturday morning there are more stones in :) then he will get $6 to spend on pokemon. He can spend it all at once or save it - but we won't make special trips to the shops (well, we might...if there is nothing better to do).
Oh - and if he runs away (leaves the section) then all stones go to the :( jar - because running away is very dangerous, and needs a big consequence.
I haven't heard "I'm hungry" since about 7.30 this morning. And that was definitely out of boredom (in the car on the way to school...is about 35 minutes) so this afternoon I went to the library and got some audio books - and hopefully that'll fix the mornings.
There was a slight problem at the end of the day - I went to pick Mr 7 up from the social workers office...and he wasn't there - no one had remembered to pick him up from school. Thankfully, the school and figured out something funny was going on - popped him in the after school programme and were working out what to do next when I turned up and the social workers called the school. His siblings were in the after school programme anyway - so he didn't notice he was forgotten, just thought he was spending some time there. I have now arranged for him to go to the after school programme every day after school as it turns out he was still booked in from when he was in the care of his family, just hadn't been for a couple of months.
They also do before school care from 7am as well...so if I can get the funding to put him in there it would make a lot more sense than me taking him to work, him getting picked up by the social worker and dropped at school. It would add 20 minutes or so to each my morning and afternoon, but it would feel a lot more normal for him I think. I was able to get a few things confirmed too...as the staff for the after school programme also work in the classrooms during the day. I found out what grade Mr7is in, got taken to meet his teacher and exchange contact details, and also find out that he trashed his classroom this morning! It wasn't under my watch - phew! I know this is something we will have to begin to manage soon, but in the mean time it is the responsibility of the social workers. Not normally a stance I'd take. But it is important for us to get home settled first.
Tonight after dinner we talked through what to do if he starts to feel angry. He chose that his way of getting through that would be to go to his room, and read a book. We will time 7 minutes from when he starts looking at the pages and then come and talk to him. He came up with all the ideas himself, I just asked questions. What will you do when you get angry to calm down? Read. Where will you do that? My bedroom. How long will you read for? 7 minutes. How will we know if it hasn't been long enough? Start timing once I start reading.
As a part of that we started a system with two jars. Each jar has 10 stones in it (prettish ones - from majong!) every time he completes his jobs (twice a day) he will get to move a stone from :( to :) If he doesn't do his jobs or argues about doing them he will move one from :) to :(. If he does something naughty he will move one from :) to :(, and if he does something extra special he can move one from :( to :). Confused yet? It's not so confusing when you have the items in front of you!
His jobs are: Morning - Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair.
Night - Put lunchbox on bench, set table, put toys away, take rubbish downstairs, have a bath at 7pm.
He was really happy with his jobs. I wish they were my jobs.
If on a Saturday morning there are more stones in :) then he will get $6 to spend on pokemon. He can spend it all at once or save it - but we won't make special trips to the shops (well, we might...if there is nothing better to do).
Oh - and if he runs away (leaves the section) then all stones go to the :( jar - because running away is very dangerous, and needs a big consequence.
12/10
Breakfast: rice bubbles and his soy milk
Lunchbox for school: two sandwiches, a kiwi fruit, banana, chippies, muesli bar, 3 Biscuits, brownie, and a fruit tails. A bit of junk in there. But wanted to be sure he had enough til he gets home! There was going to be an apple too, but we couldn't fit it in and he put it back in the bowl.
Dinner: Fish, Vegetable chips, coleslaw (HE DIDN'T EAT IT ALL - We WON!)
Mr 7 had a great day with us. School wasn't so good. Heard from his after school teacher that in the morning he trashed a classroom. He moved to a new class after that and now has a fresh start in a new class for the rest of the year. I met his teacher, and found out that he has not done homework. I will send a homework book for him and he will start homework from tomorrow. His after school teachers were very accommodating, and are supportive of us getting a plan that works well for us all - they are glad to have him back.
Dinner: Fish, Vegetable chips, coleslaw (HE DIDN'T EAT IT ALL - We WON!)
Mr 7 had a great day with us. School wasn't so good. Heard from his after school teacher that in the morning he trashed a classroom. He moved to a new class after that and now has a fresh start in a new class for the rest of the year. I met his teacher, and found out that he has not done homework. I will send a homework book for him and he will start homework from tomorrow. His after school teachers were very accommodating, and are supportive of us getting a plan that works well for us all - they are glad to have him back.
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